LOL

Typing the words
LOL
With tears in my eyes
Like it is perfectly natural

No,
I'm not
Laughing out Loud
I'm crying

But you
Can't see me cry
From behind
This screen

Squinting
To see through these tears
Just to realize
You typed another damn smiley face

The rest of the message
Is so happy
Why don't you wring my neck yourself
Instead of letting the words do the dirty-work?

I can barely stomach
This conversation
You typing the words
"The world is great" to me

Next to follow
Is some insperation proverb
You felt compelled to share
Once more, it's a lie

But,
Solemnly I type the words
"That's a great one
It's so inspirational"

Don't say I lied though
Because you started it
I don't see
How you can even tolerate yourself

Your so happy
You sicken me deeply
But yet I linger
For fear of being alone

You make a desperate attempt
At some joke
Barely seeing the screen through the teary haze
I type LOL once more

But everything I typed
Has been in code
LOL =
I'm crying right now

You try something else
Start some rant
It has no end
I type the words ROFL

You type something
Bright and Chipper
I hate you so bad right now
How can you be happy?

Heads up
ROFL=
I just tried to smother myself
It didn't work

You type
"I had the best day ever"
I type
"I had the worst day ever"

Your words follow with this:
"Don't be so pessimistic"
I type a long sigh
Followed by "You're too optimistic"

You type LOL
I type LMAO
Which actually means
Life isn't worth it

The conversation drags on
You keep laughing in it
Typing smilies
And I just nod and type something to do with laughter

Finally,
I leave
Type TTYL
And I'm out

You probably watch
As it says I logged out
I really wouldn't know
I only know what you type

I already told you
Everything I type is in code
So take a guess
What TTYL really means

Congrats,
The Medical Examiner got the question right
It means my life sucks so badly
I took by burning myself to death

It hurt
And that is what
Made it worth it,
So fun

You're probably
Online right now
Wondering why
I haven't checked my messages in a while

Sometimes
People like me don't type the word "suicide"
But believe me
Most of the time it is implied

LOL many of us type
When we're actually crying
But the people behind the computer screens
Only see the false words we typed